Ian Frazier, writing in the "Shouts & Murmurs" section of The New Yorker magazine, has come up with one of the side-splittingest pieces I've read in a very long time.
In the guise of The Cursing Mommy, a female columnist he devised, Frazier lectures on the perfect cocktail and how to make it -- or find it once you've made it.
It begins this way (Warning: Salty language throughout):
"Those high-priced bartenders in their red vests and white shirts who your caterers recommended to serve at your last party may know a thing or two, but for entertaining on a smaller scale -- for parties of seven people, four, or even just one -- a few simple steps to the perfect cocktail are all you’ll ever need. Take, for example, this drink I’m drinking right now. Where the hell did I put it? I just set it down five minutes ago. I had it when I was watching the news, I know that. Now what in hell could I have done with it? O.K. -- I found it, thank heavens. I must have set it here on the stairs when I went to throw away the mail. Anyway, as I was saying, making this particular drink, which happens to be a vodka gimlet, is simplicity itself, once you know how."
[Go here for the whole piece.]
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